President
Grasshopper speaks:
“My dear
friends, the situation is critical; we will very soon be massively eaten by
humans. The biped invader is expected, according to the FAO (Food and
Agriculture Organization of the United Nations), to reach nine billon specimens
by 2050. And the most inconceivable thing is that the UN (United Nations) has
selected us as the number one delicacy of human gastronomy!
We, the six
legs, were already the prey of Asians for centuries, but European and North
Americans are now seeing us as an alternative source of food. We are now recognized
as a great source of proteins, vitamins and minerals by Time magazine, the BBC
and even TED (they are planning conferences about how good we taste, once
cooked).
Furthermore,
those senseless humans have other means to produce food. The BBC announced that
Mark Post has created lab-grown meat. Wouldn’t vegetarians feel queasy?
Unfortunately, at the present time, it can’t be produced massively; it’s still
being developed…
Those
repellent mammals could create more nutritional supplement to deal with the
food shortage that is awaiting them. Humans have already mastered molecular
manipulations and even artificial flavours. So why can’t they just stick to
those achievements?
How about
seaweed? It would be like eating a subaquatic salad right? It’s nourishing, it
can be harvested on mass and it’s already in the plates of many Europeans (they
call it “sushi”). “It's the fastest growing plant on earth” says Dr Craig Rose.
Isn’t that perfect? Yet humans persistent in thinking that we are the best
potential source of food!
Something
has remained unsaid, ladies and gentlemen: I call it the “Yuck Factor”. My dear
friends, let’s show how loathsome we can be. I swear by the Great Grasshopper in
the Sky, and to all of you, as long as my mandate lasts, together, we will
resist and we will fight this Biped Threat!”
Links:
Juliette DE KEYSER wants to work as a food production scientist.
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